Elka Ray | Blog

	Inculture parents interview POSTED JANUARY 21ST, 2013 BY ELKA RAY Inculture Parents magazine interviewed my husband and me about our “intercultural family”:	Hanoi Jane Looking for a book that combines travel, romance and adventure? With its fast pace, exotic locale and compelling characters Hanoi Jane is the perfect holiday read — whether or not you’re on holiday. Vietnam A to Z Vietnam A to Z uses fun illustrations and bilingual English and Vietnamese text to introduce Vietnam’s colorful culture to young children. 1, 2, 3 Vietnam Funny illustrations and bilingual English and Vietnamese text bring Vietnam alive for very young children.
	Monday, January 21st, 2013 Real Intercultural Family: Elka and Thien Real Intercultural Family: Elka and Thien By Stephanie MeadeWhere are you from?Elka: I was born in England. My dad is British and my mother is German. When I was very young, we lived in Africa, then moved to Canada.Thien: I was born in Ben Tre, Vietnam and immigrated to Australia at three years old. I then moved back to Vietnam in 2003.
Where do you currently live and what countries have you lived in together?Elka: We met in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, and have never lived anywhere else together. I’ve been in Vietnam for going on 17 years and Thien has been here for 10 years.How come, Elka, you have been in Vietnam 17 years? What first brought you there?Elka: I studied Journalism and Asian Studies at university in Canada, and was especially interested in Vietnam’s history. My first visit here was in 1992, and at that time, people weren’t used to seeing Westerners. I am very blonde and at the time, my hair was long. By the end of my month-long trip, my hair was uneven since people had snuck up behind me and snipped bits off as souvenirs. After university, I moved to Vietnam “for one year” to study Vietnamese. Because Vietnam was so cut off from most of the world, I found it fascinating. Every day I’d look around and think: “What are those people doing?” Today, with access to MTV and the Internet, there’s less of that wonderful weirdness. How did you meet? Thien: We were introduced through mutual friends. Elka: And then we kept meeting by chance. On our first date Thien came over to my place to watch a video–and never left. I think it took about two weeks for all of his stuff to migrate into my apartment…We were engaged within two months and married before our first anniversary. Looking back, it was crazy, but I still feel really lucky. How old are your children and where were they born? Elka: Our five-and-a-half-year-old son, Solomon, was born in Bangkok. Our daughter, Eloise, who just turned four, was born in Ho Chi Minh City. What passports do you and the kids hold? Thien: I hold Vietnamese and Australian passports and Elka has Canadian and British ones. The kids have British, Australian and Canadian. Since Elly was born in Vietnam, she’ll also be eligible for Vietnamese citizenship when she turns 14. What language do you speak together? Thien: English In what languages do you speak to the kids? Elka: We speak English with the kids, but are lucky to have a live-in nanny who only speaks Vietnamese, which forces the rest of us to speak it too. What languages do the kids speak? Thien: The kids speak English with us and with some of their friends, Vietnamese with their nanny and with other friends, and French at school and with French friends. How do you reinforce all the languages beyond just the parents speaking it? Elka: Last summer, we hired a lovely young French woman to come over and play with the kids in French for three hours each day. They did regular stuff like making crafts and playing hide-and-seek and riding their bikes—in French. We also try to read books in English, French and Vietnamese. Since I’m a writer and illustrator, I decided to create a couple of bilingual English-Vietnamese kids’ books to teach our kids (and other kids of Vietnamese descent) more about Vietnam. Thien: We did have a Vietnamese tutor, but the kids did not enjoy it. We now prefer to have them do sports activities (such as swimming lessons or karate) with Vietnamese instructors to reinforce their Vietnamese. Do you have any advice for parents raising multilingual kids on what works and what doesn’t? Elka: Try to ensure that your kids spend time around kids and/or fun people who speak the languages you want to reinforce. When I hear my kids playing with other kids in French or Vietnamese I feel that their language skills are sustainable. Thien: Try and find something that the kids enjoy doing whilst learning the language. Do you have any concerns with your kids’ language acquisition? Elka: I’ve been known to worry! We waited until both kids were three-and-a-half before introducing them to French, by which time their spoken English was good and their Vietnamese decent. Thien: I prefer to give the kids as much content as possible. Their developing minds are used to focusing on multiple things. The most important thing is to make it interesting for them. What religion are you both? And how are you raising the kids? Elka: My dad is a committed atheist, while Thien was raised as a Catholic. If I had to tick a religious box, I’d choose Buddhist, although my spiritual beliefs are too personal to be categorized. I discuss different religious perspectives with the kids and hope that by questioning everything they’ll find their own answers. Thien: I was raised as a Catholic, but am now not practicing. The kids need to be informed of all religions so they can form their own opinions as they mature. What are some of your biggest cultural differences? Elka: I have no interest in rugby and don’t eat meat. Australians are sports-crazy and Vietnamese people will eat anything that moves. Thien: I am involved in less sports and eat less meat these days J What have been your greatest challenges as an intercultural family? Elka: Our wedding (eight years ago) was the biggest challenge to date. I’m not Catholic, for starters, but it was very important to Thien’s family that we got married in a church. This meant that I had to take Catholic lessons from a homophobic nun, which ended in a huge screaming fight and my getting kicked out of Catholic school. While I’d have loved a small, simple wedding, our reception took place in a five-star hotel with hundreds of guests and a weird stage show involving flaming torches! Twice in the past year I’ve met people and said “Nice to meet you!” only to be told, “Actually, I was at your wedding.” Thien: Being Vietnamese and growing up in Australia, I have always dealt with some cultural challenges, from eating odd-smelling food to performing traditional ceremonies such as praying for departed family members. These challenges have been more about not understanding these traditional behaviors, because once understood, it is generally accepted and sometimes enjoyed by all. What have been your greatest joys as an intercultural family? Elka: I think our kids will grow up to have so many options on where and how they would like to live. They are lucky to have been exposed to different people, places and cultures from a young age. Thien: Taking the best aspects out of Vietnamese, Australian, Canadian, English and German cultures and incorporating them to make our lives more fulfilling. © 2013, Stephanie Meade. All rights reserved. https://www.incultureparent.com/2013/01/real-intercultural-family-elka-and-thien/
	Big and small Saigon 2013 POSTED JANUARY 20TH, 2013 BY ELKA RAY I think this photo, which I recently snapped on Nguyen Trai Street, is a good representation of modern Saigon. There are a couple of stores catering to the city’s growing middle class; a gorgeous little French-colonial-era chapel; a sidewalk cafe with plastic stools; and the obligatory construction site looming overhead.
	My little friend POSTED JANUARY 16TH, 2013 BY ELKA RAY As we’re waiting to start the Year of the Snake, I seem to be living in the Year of the Frog. This adorable little tree frog showed up in our bathroom last night, and hopped right onto me. I carried him outdoors and encouraged him to jump onto a tree, where I hope he’ll have a happy life and eat lots of mosquitos.
	Hitchhiker POSTED JANUARY 3RD, 2013 BY ELKA RAY Half way back from downtown I spotted a tree frog clinging to my car’s sideview mirror. Since we were in the thick of traffic I just hoped he’d hang in there until we reached some frog-friendly place to stop. Sadly, he panicked and leapt off before the Saigon Bridge. While I’d like to believe that the little guy made it to the safety of some roadside tree, sadly, I think it’s move likely that he’s gone to the Big Rainforest in the Sky. Another casualty of Saigon’s traffic…
	Christmas cheer POSTED DECEMBER 26TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY In Vietnam, nothing says “Christmas” like little kids dressed up in Santa suits. Here’s my friend Mai Anh’s son, Thien Nhan (https://help-thien-nhan.blogspot.com/), decked out for the festivities.
	Bad air POSTED DECEMBER 17TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Our neighbours are burning rubbish again – no doubt in an effort to evade the neighborhood’s VND60,000 ($3) per month rubbish collection fee. Either that or their house is on fire. I’m half-hoping it’s the latter.
	Ho! Ho! Ho! POSTED DECEMBER 12TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Christmas is coming to Saigon, where it’s hot, sunny and the only snow in sight comes out of a can…
	Goochi POSTED DECEMBER 5TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. While people all over the world are trying to pass cheap copies off as brand-name luxury goods, it seems a HCM City importer has been busted for doing the opposite. Housed in the Sheraton Hotel, Milano has long been the priciest clothing shop in town, and a favorite of local high rollers and brand-obsessed
celebrities. Now cops have confiscated four truckloads of Milano’s wares, claiming they were falsely declared as cheap Chinese goods rather than the real Italian deal in order to save on import taxes. This leaves Milano and its importer, a company called Nam De, in a bind: If the stuff’s real, they were defrauding the state. It it wasn’t, they’ve been cheating their brand-loving customers. I bet a lot of top singers, actors, officials and high-end call girls are following this news story.
	Dong Khoi Street POSTED DECEMBER 2ND, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. There’s no place like Saigon in December – cooler temperatures, lower humidity, and fresh breezes.
	New edition for Kindle POSTED NOVEMBER 19TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. The kindle version of Hanoi Jane is finally available in the USA & Canada, where it costs US$5.95 and can be bought here: https://www.amazon.com/Hanoi-Jane-ebook/dp/B00A45PSL2 The cover design for this edition, which I adore, was done by the brilliant Heather Macpherson at www.raspberrycreativetype.com
	Out for a roll POSTED NOVEMBER 6TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. One of my best Vietnamese friends always insists on getting a ride – even if our destination is only a short walk away. When I complained, she said: “Walking isn’t in my culture!”
	POSTED NOVEMBER 2ND, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Last week, Vietnam celebrated Women’s Day, and women across the land were presented with overpriced flower arrangements. Vietnam is also very keen on International Women’s Day, an event I’d never heard of before moving here. It leads me to suspect that the more Women’s Days a country celebrates, the less cause its women have for celebration.
	OFF POSTED OCTOBER 26TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. I’ve been distracted lately, with sick kids, and various old and new projects on the go. My attention was clearly elsewhere when I grabbed a can of what I thought was hairspray and gave my ‘do a hearty squirt — only to realize that I’d just blasted a stream of OFF into my bangs.
	Swamp city POSTED OCTOBER 20TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Ho Chi Minh City is built on a swamp. As more and more land gets built up, the weight of construction is causing the ground to sink. Each October – November, the rainy season and high tides team up and cause flooding all over Saigon. When the tide is up, our neighborhood – D. 2 – turns into a patchwork of deep puddles.
When we moved into our house three years ago, only a small corner of our yard flooded when the tide was especially high. Two nights back, the entire garden was submerged and water was lapping at our front steps. This year, the highest tide falls on October 30th. Our house should stay dry. But next year? We’d better start investing in sandbags. As my husband says, we now have “waterfront property”.
	Looking back POSTED OCTOBER 18TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. One of the most interesting parts of writing a story is researching its era and setting. I’ve been working on a plot set in the 1930s for years , which gives me an excuse to waste a lot of time meandering around the web in search of 1930′s fashions.

	The road to insanity POSTED OCTOBER 8TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Some months back, some surveyors turned up and began taking measurements of the small lane that runs beside our house. Someday, apparently, the lane is going to be widened – into our yard. After spray-painting some esoteric symbols onto our wall and driveway, the surveyors disappeared. But of course I started to worry.
Just how much of our garden is going to be cut off and donated to this project? And how big and busy will this widened road get? Having lived in Vietnam for as long as I have, I know that there’s really no sense thinking about it. It could take years to widen that road. Or even decades. But then again, the road crew could show up tomorrow. If you hate uncertainty, you’d hate living here.
	Fresh meat POSTED OCTOBER 3RD, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. I’ve been food poisoned, which has me thinking about food safety. As a result, a news story about a restaurant in Kentucky that was caught serving roadkill caught my eye.
Apparently, customers complained when they saw staff pushing a trash can with a bloody deer’s leg sticking out of it towards the kitchen. The staff claimed they weren’t planning to sell the roadkill to guests, but to “serve it to their family”. This reminds me of my parents, who took it a step further and would actually try to run down pheasants and wild hares (in a VW bug) in the hope of eating them. At the age of three I stopped eating meat. Is it any wonder? https://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/kentucky-restaurant-shut-down-roadkill-kitchen-160225525.html
	Christmas is coming… POSTED OCTOBER 1ST, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Yesterday, my five-year-old son announced that it’d be Christmas “in two days”. While his timing is off, it IS already October, which means that 2012 is 3/4 done. Before we know it, it will be Christmas… I’m hoping to get my act together and issue some festive Vietnam-themed cards in time for the holidays.
	High security POSTED SEPTEMBER 27TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. For his work, my husband needed to open a bank account in Cambodia, so I joined him on a one-night trip to Siem Reap. When he lacked the necessary paperwork to open an ANZ account, we found a local bank down the road.
As my husband signed papers, I sat in the reception room. This was the view of the bank’s front porch. Nothing like an unattended AK47 to make you feel secure…
	The bird catcher POSTED SEPTEMBER 19TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Next door to my house lies a thickly treed vacant lot of around 5,000 square meters. The land is swampy and covered with rattan, bamboo, banana trees and coconut palms.A few days ago I came home to see a bird-catcher pull up on his motorbike, dismount and carry the tools of his trade into the empty lot — a tape recorder that plays bird calls;
a perch made of twigs that resembled a TV antennae and had a dead sparrow tied to the top; various nets; and some cages. Tied to the back of his motorbike were more cages full of wild birds, which were thashing about and throwing themselves against the wire in a desperate bid to escape.Would you have let those birds go?
Hanoi autumn POSTED SEPTEMBER 12TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. hanoi autumnAutumn in Hanoi… I feel homesick!
	Gold rush POSTED SEPTEMBER 1ST, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. I got home yesterday to find our landlord prowling around our back yard with a metal detector. According to family lore, his mom, who passed away some months back, had hidden some gold in the yard without telling anyone. I had visions of our whole garden full of holes.
Luckily for our landlord, the buried treasure wasn’t a myth. Luckily for us, the loot was hidden under some bushes.
	Bike footsies POSTED AUGUST 29TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. After this photo of a guy driving a motorbike with one foot while texting on a Hanoi highway went viral, police actually managed to track the 22-year-old driver down and fine him $576. Not only was the guy riding in a lane reserved for cars and trucks and not wearing a helmet, but the motorbike was stolen too.
I’m just surprised he wasn’t using one foot to push another motorbike and balancing a plate-glass window on the back of his bike
	Goodbye Halico Plant POSTED AUGUST 5TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. My friend Steve recently visited the old Halico factory – a liquor plant that the French built more than a century ago in Hanoi. He managed to get some wonderful photos of the old place, which is due to be torn down in the near future.
	A walk in the park POSTED JULY 27TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. At around 7p.m. the other night, my husband and I had just pulled into the small parking lot beside Saigon’s Le Van Tam Park when I spotted a group of youngish and middle-aged women sitting around, eating snacks and apparently enjoying the nice evening. We parked the car and a woman popped up and asked if we’d move the car some twenty feet away.
“We’re working here!” she said. Apparently we’d parked in the park’s designated hooker-pickup-spot. While I shouldn’t have been surprised, I was. As well as being smack-dab in the middle of town, and brightly lit, that park doesn’t have a lot of low-lying vegetation.Years back, I’d cut through another city park at dusk and been stunned to find couples in various states of undress lying just a few meters off the path, evenly spaced every four or five meters. They weren’t just holding hands, or reciting poetry to each other. Since I’m always hearing that Vietnam is a “traditional” society, I’m left wondering what those traditions entail. Horniness and hypocrisy?
	Six…sux…CX POSTED JULY 24TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Today, my five-year-old son and I went to Saigon’s Tan Son Nhat Airport and found utter chaos at the Cathay Pacific check-in counters. After waiting for more than an hour I was informed that my flight from Hong Kong to Vancouver had been “cancelled because there’s a storm”. When I questionned why the flight from HCM City to Hong Kong was still able to leave,
I was told that the storm was in fact over, but had caused a backlog of passengers in Hong Kong and I was considered bump-worthy. “We’ll call you,” promised the check-in girl. Hmmmmm… Given that they’d failed to call and tell me my flight was cancelled, I had serious misgivings. Next stop was HCM City’s Cathay Pacific booking office where I was informed: “You can fly tomorrow but we can’t confirm your Vancouver flight so you must probably stay in the airport for some nights.” Well that sounds like fun. My kid and I could lie on the floor and count feet; or I could teach him about homelessness… But on second thought, no thanks.When I declined, I was told that the EARLIEST available flight with the same conditions was in SIX days’ time. Yes, that’s right: 6. S-I-X. Which really S-U-X, as I will miss the family reunion that was the entire point of this journey.Having worked as a travel writer for more than a decade I have NEVER had a flight delayed by SIX days. Perhaps that’s because I haven’t been flying with Cathay Pacific?
	Press it POSTED JULY 22ND, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. I was having coffee at an outdoor cafe in Saigon’s District 2 when my friend’s nine-year-old son spotted this cryptic sign, which reads “LIGHTNING PROTECTION TEST LINK” and has what looks like a doorbell beneath it. “Do you think we should press it?” said the nine-year-old.
“Better not,” I said. For the next week, every time I walked by, I was tempted. Last night, I gave in and pressed the button. As far as I know, nothing happened. But I’m still wondering what that sign means.
	In Vietnam’s bookshops POSTED OCTOBER 1ST, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. My bilingual Vietnam-themed picture books, Vietnam A to Z and 1,2,3 Vietnam!, are now stocked by Vietnam’s major bookshops. The easiest place to find them is at PNC Books in Vincom Mall, Ly Tu Trong Street, D.1, HCM City.

	Where to shop POSTED JULY 18TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. My son, who is five, asked where I’d bought a bottle of nail polish.”In a shop across the street from Ben Thanh Market,” I said, referring to the iconic French-era market that stands in downtown Ho Chi Minh City.
	My son’s eyes lit up. “BEN 10 MARKET?” he cried. “Take me!”Since he’s a huge fan of “Ben 10?, a TV cartoon series featuring shape-changing aliens, I knew exactly what the poor kid was picturing: an entire market packed with Ben 10 toys and paraphanelia.
He was crushed to hear that Ben Thanh was just a regular market selling fresh produce, cheap clothes, and household goods.
	Miss-behaving POSTED JULY 17TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. For weeks, Vietnam’s media has been milking a story about a high-end prostitution ring in HCM City, where models, actresses and beauty queens were reportedly charging up to US$2,500 per session (according to some sources) and $4,000 (according to others). Almost all of the stories ran this photo with a caption identifying one of the ringleaders, Miss Mekong Delta 2009 Vo Thi My Xuan.
While some newspapers identified Miss My Xuan as the woman on the right, she is actually the one on the left side of the photo. Nobody bothered to identify the other woman. So as if being First Runner Up in a provincial beauty pageant wasn’t bad enough, the poor woman has now been slandered nationwide.
	Lovely Lombok POSTED JULY 13TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. I spent the past week in southern Lombok, the Indonesian island to the east of Bali. While getting there from Vietnam involved three flights aboard cramped budget airlines, the long journey was worth it. From Jakarta there are direct flights to Lombok’s new airport in Praya, from where it’s about a forty minute drive to Kuta Lombok, which is (thankfully) nothing like Kuta Bali.
Since my husband loves to surf we spent a lot of time riding a motorbike along incredibly rutted, steep and treacherous dirt roads in search of waves. While the area’s unpaved roads aren’t for the faint-of-heart, again, the trips were worth it, offering views of steep mountains, terraced rice paddies and coconut plantations and access to utterly deserted beaches that fit my definition of paradise.
	Badvertising POSTED JULY 8TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Central Sulawesi may have a lot going for it–but it could use a good PR company. Check out this “Visit Central Sulawesi” tourism ad, most of which is occupied by a photo of the governor and vice governor. These guys don’t give me the “I want to vacation there!” feeling. And what do you think the chance is that the woman posing as a happy tourist is the wife, girlfriend or daughter of the governor?
	We’re off! POSTED JULY 4TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. We’re just about to board our Lion Air flight to Lombok, via Singapore and Jakarta. All up, the trip from HCM City to Lombok will take 12 hours… I can’t wait to get there!
	Faking it POSTED JULY 2ND, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Some days ago, an online Vietnamese news site reported that a Ho Chi Minh City shop had been fined US$1,076 for selling fake Durex condoms. They were selling the fakes for 5.7 cents a piece, or around half the price of real ones. For those who think that copying is limited to expensive purses – think again. Everything – and I mean everything – is being copied.
Pre-50 POSTED JUNE 25TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Anyone who’s curious about publishing phenomenon 50 Shades of Grey’s place in the history of smutty books will love Lucy Mangan’s hilarious article at https://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/may/29/erotica-fifty-shades-of-grey
	Writing POSTED JUNE 21ST, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.—W. Somerset Maugham
	Where’s the restroom? POSTED JUNE 18TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. An article in the AsianScientist magazine recounts the discovery of what is thought to be the earliest toilet in Southeast Asia around 30km south of HCM City. After seven weeks spent excavating a 3,300- to 3,700-year old Neolithic village, Australian and Vietnamese researchers were thrilled to discover “more than 30 preserved feces belonging to humans and dogs”.
Apparently, the turds contained animal bones and fish, giving researchers insight into what people (and their dogs) were eating way back then. And no, they didn’t find any toilet paper.
Smashed POSTED JUNE 12TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Anyone who has been to Vietnam has seen some amazing things being carried on the backs of motorbikes, such as huge sheets of plate glass, cages of live snakes, a pool table, or large extended families. Having been cursed with a vivid imagination, I can’t help but imagine the possible accidents.
On a recent trip to Mui Ne, a seaside resort that’s around a 4.5-hour drive from Saigon, I witnessed one of the most interesting accidents that I’ve seen in years: two trucks, both laded with eggs, crashed into each other.A layer of broken eggs spanned both lanes of Highway 1. Luckily, it was overcast and raining. In the hot sun, that accident site would have turned into the world’s largest omelette.Sadly, I was too stunned to get a photo.
	Price, Speed, Quality POSTED MAY 31ST, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. Being in need of IT help, a good friend told me: “Quality. Price. Speed. Choose two out of three.”Having gone for a low price, my projects are moving at a snail’s pace. I just hope (pray?) that Quality prevails.
	Summertime POSTED MAY 29TH, 2012 BY ELKA RAY. For me, nothing says summer in Saigon like flamboyant trees in bloom.

Hanoi Jane

Vietnam A to Z

1, 2, 3 Vietnam

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